Ask Alexandra – December 2002
Dear M.s. Alexandra,
Don’t you think that being an actress gives a person many restrictions because actors are always being criticized by the media and mobbed by crazy fans. Sometimes they are Slandered as well. The media and fans are always speculating on actors and actress’s private lifes and spreading rumours about them. How do you react to these problems?
I first saw you years ago on the T.V. show Baywatch and couldn’t help noticing that you looked very much alike my late mother. I have always been quite nostalgic about you. I like you best of all the Baywatch stars. I almost wept when you were shown to be diagnosed with skin cancer on the show.
I pray God that you always remain happy and healthy.
| Dear Mitul,
I am fortunate in that I have never been a target of the tabloids. I am lucky, that is for sure! It is partly because I live a pretty normal, quiet life.
I think it would be very hard to have unflattering or personal stories (most of which are untrue) printed about me. The few times that there have been articles that were mean spirited, I have just ignored them. They have been few enough that it has not been disruptive.
Thank you for writing, and for your supportive words.
I was so glad to hear about a Baywatch reunion. You really did some great work on that show. When Stephanie died I became very sad, I felt like a friend of mine had died. I find it strange how we can become so attached to a tv character. Anyway, my question is you’re married right, well was it hard to get used to living with a man? I just got married in March and the transition has been really hard for me. I just wondered if you might be able to offer some wisdom.
Thank you for reading my question!
Ian and I moved in together a year and a half after we began dating, and I hadnt lived with a boyfriend in 16 years! Because I have, however, had many roommates over the years (starting when I went to boarding school at 14), I am pretty easygoing about my space and not very rigid about how I like things done. I am lucky that Ian is very thoughtful and we both try to accommodate the other: I make sure to close drawers and cupboards properly and squeegy the shower after I use it, and he does his dishes instead of letting them “soak” for days on end! – things we wouldnt do if we lived alone, but we know it is important to the other.
You werent specific about what you found difficult about living with your husband, but my advice is to have an agreement about a few keys things that are very important to you, instead of letting everything you dont like become a battlefield. If you agree to do some things that are important to him, and he agrees to some things that you especially want done (or not done), then accept the other stuff and dont get resentful.
I have learned that if I am trying to “win” an argument with Ian, the marriage loses. The key is to come to agreements where both you and your husband win! That way love can flourish, instead of resentments building up. If you approach disagreements in terms of, “how can we figure this out so both of us walk away happy?” instead of, “I am right and you are wrong!!!!” you will have a loving, growing relationship. I have found that when 2 people disagree, but are willing to really understand their partner’s side, they will find that they are not that far apart ultimately. It takes patience, and a willingness to approach the situation with a I-want-to-understand-and-help attitude, instead of a you-are-the-enemy attitude.
Best wishes to you for a long and happy marriage!
I was wondering if you are still active in “The Population Education Project”? If so do they have a website for this project (other then your site that is I mean, specifically for the project)?
Dave AKA Scottish2 (On the forum)
In 1994 I took off 2 months from acting and spoke in schools with my Population Education Project partner, Professor David Abramis, on the human overpopulation crisis. We would speak to several schools a week, about 3 classrooms at each school. The talk was free, interactive, and interesting, if I may say so myself!!! We spoke to kids from 5 grade to college age. Since then, David and I have spoken to thousands of students, but in the last few years we havent done it because we both have been so busy. We still get calls to speak and I have been nervous that I am too rusty!! But it was such a rewarding project and I am very proud of the work that David and I did. I hope we start it up again. I still run into young people around Los Angeles that remember me speaking to their class!