Ask Alexandra – February 2006
Just another thank you…
A couple of months ago I sent you a little thank you for talking about your eating disorder and inspiring me to seek help for mine. I was extremely surprised and even more inspired to find out that you responded! Thanks to you, and all those who have supported me, I was able to actually eat and enjoy Thanksgiving, my birthday, and Christmas. This is something I haven’t done since I was in 13, and I’m now 24! I can only imagine how much better it gets! Wow! Thanks again for the inspiration!
I am thrilled to hear about your progress – that is so wonderful. Life without bingeing and purging is like having a huge weight taken off your shoulders, no pun intended, and the more balanced you get around food, the better your life will be, I promise.
It is important to understand WHY you turn to food in an unhealthy way so that you won’t return to your eating disorder when life gets stressful. Here is a link to books on eating disorders, if reading is something you finding healing and helpful: http://www.healthyplace.com/. Therapy is very good at helping us understand ourselves and at giving us other tools to deal with life’s challenges. I also recommend a 12 Step Program (Overeaters Anonymous, which deals with all eating disorders, really helped me. Go to www.oa.org to find meeting near you) if you want the support of others who understand intimately what you are going through.
Congratulations on your courage in making this change in your life. It is never
Thank you so much for the update,
Are there any rolls you were offered and turned down, and now think differently?
Nope. I read everything that is offered to me, and if the script is good, I want it! A good role is more valuable than the money I get paid! When I did the small part of a neglectful, cocaine snorting mother who lives in a trailer park in “12 Bucks”, the fee was $100, but I didn’t care. The actors got paid more later because the movie was sold (and is now on video), but at the time I was excited to be in the project, not only because I was working with my friends David Chokachi (who played my abusive husband) and Sean Graham and Scott Waugh (who produced and starred), but because I don’t usually get cast in roles where the women are trashy and out of control. So it was a great opportunity for me.
There are many films I couldn’t do because I was working on other projects, and I wish I could have done both. But George Plimpton, who spoke at my high school graduation, encouraged us to say “yes” more often than “no”. Someone also told me once that “it is the things I don’t do that I regret, not the things I do”. When I say no to a project, it is never done flippantly, because a lot of folks put their heart and souls into bringing the story to fruition, and I respect that. ‘
Thank you for writing!
I don’t have any questions, infact I respect all your privacy and your experiences, but I do appreciate that you share the rest of the stories, articles, multimedia files, educational experiences with people all over the world, particulary your fans. And I admire you for that. One of the things, I really like about you, is that you’re not just an actrress but a human being, who understands the morality, and the humanity services that adults and children needs today. It’s irony that as a graphic designer, I cover all issues ranging from redesigning print media to social issues. I guess, in a way you do the activisim to speak your heart out and helping others. My way of helping others was through visualization. I’m unlike everybody else, since I’m hearing-impaired, and often in schools, I had to study/work twice harder than my fellow peers. But, regardless of my hearing-impairment, it hasn’t stopped me from educating others. I think, basically, this is where I enjoy the most being a graphic designer, and appreciating people’s effort to make the world a better community to live in. It makes me happier to know that you also continue to help, and reach the goal in making the world a better place.
I wish you all the best in your future endeavors, and hope that you continue to fight against the War on Iraq, but do me and a lot of people a favor – don’t go to jail again!
(this is my expression of sincerity, so don’t consider me as a stranger, but someone who appreciates your efforts).
I think it is wonderful that you have found your niche, despite a physical disability that can be very isolating. We each must find our own unique way to make this world a better place, and it sounds like you have found yours – good for you!
Thank you for your kind words. I did want to say that all the actresses I have gotten to know have been very human, very down to earth. When we go beyond the superficial, I have learned that there is always an interesting, accessible person there. It is about taking the time to get to know someone and giving them the benefit of the doubt that any coolness or “snobbism” there may be is probably just a protection mechanism.
I cannot promise I will not go to jail again, unfortunately! If our country begins another pre-emptive war (and this is not so far-fetched, as there are rumblings that they want to invade Iran), I cannot stand by and let our government kill innocents and the perpetuate hatred and bloodshed – I must protest. I sincerely hope it doesn’t come to that.
Keep up your work in graphic design, and thank you for your letter.