Ask Alexandra – November 2006
Obviously, being an actor puts you in the spotlight with the media, fans, etc. but aside from that… would you say you lead an ordinary life, or do you live extravagantly?
May your success continue, and happiness always surround you!
I lead a very ordinary – but extraordinarily happy – life. I don’t live extravagantly, but, like most Americans I certainly have many, many more “things” than I need. And that is even trying to follow the principles of “simple living“.
The joy that I feel everyday has nothing to do with being an actress per se: it comes from being very much in love with my husband; having a wonderful relationship with my family; feeling healthy and strong; loving my work and believing in my activism; having terrific friends; knowing myself very well (thanks to years of therapy and self help books!); living within my means.
For fun, Ian and I go for walks, do the crossword, see movies (we just love being with each other – we actually really dig grocery shopping together.) I work out daily, and worry if I gain weight or when I find a new wrinkle. I call my twin every day and speak to my mom and my brother once or twice a week. Ordinary, wonderful things.
Thank you for your best wishes and for writing. I wish you happiness and success also.
I recently saw the short film you did for Power Up, Breaking Up Really Sucks. How did you get involved in the project and what was it like filming it?
Because my twin is gay, I have always wanted to play a lesbian. I figure I have gay blood in my veins because Caroline and I are identical twins! When my manager, Daniel, told me about the part, I worked very hard on the audition, and was thrilled when they offered it to me. I checked a lot of books out of the library on being homosexual, lesbian sex etc. and after I read them I called Caroline to discuss it all and she just laughed and said, “Where did you hear that?” I am not sure I learned much of any use from all those books! As Caroline says, relationships are relationships and breaking up really sucks if you are gay, straight, young, old, black, white etc.. This was a movie about the beginning, middle and end of a relationship, all told in 15 minutes or so! It was a blast to shoot, and is fun to watch. The woman who played my girlfriend in the film was straight also, so we had to get a lot of advice from the crew (which was mostly gay) on how to set up the sex scene, which was pretty hilarious (Caroline was a bit too embarrassed to go into particulars with me).
To see stills from the show, go to http://www.power-up.net/breaking_up.html, and the filmography section. To order a dvd of Breaking Up Really Sucks and other Power Up shorts (support lesbian empowerment!) go to www.power-up.net.
I was lucky enough to play a lesbian in a film earlier this year, Trapped, and I would love to do more lesbian roles. And I was in the successful gay movie Ten Attitudes, playing the sister of the gay lead (my good friend Jason Stuart). I narrated a video supporting gay marriage in America, have been in the LA Gay Pride Parade twice and I am an ardent supporter of equal rights for gays.
If you are an out lesbian, I salute you. It isn’t easy being gay in America today.
Do you believe that relationships work best when each partner is different in personality? My fiance and I have the same beliefs and interests but his weakness’s are my strengths (sensitivity-and being able to see the shades of grey in things instead of everything having to be black and white.) I feel that we balance each other because of our differences. Are you and Ian alike or different and how so?
I believe how partners treat differences is more important than what those differences
I love that Ian is more relaxed than I. He helps me relax more, which is fun; I would MUCH prefer that than a perfectly clean kitchen all the time! It sounds like you and your fiancé have the same positive side effects of being different. The key is, when the differences become disagreements to be able to discuss it in a nonjudgmental (no “my way is better than your way”) manner and come to a compromise you both are happy to live with.