I Married a Meat Eater

I am crazy in love with my husband.  Even after 18 amazing years together, my mother teases me, “Is Ian still perfect?” I always respond, “Yes, he is.”

Ian is loving, patient, kind, thoughtful, smart, beautiful, athletic, funny, and…a meat eater.

Most of my vegan friends claim they could never date a meat eater. But here I am, someone who has not touched meat since age 14, and the man I call my soulmate has no qualms about eating animals.

I fervently believe that exploiting animals in any way is wrong. Shared values are supposed to be a vital part of keeping a couple together, so it sometimes makes me question my own integrity on the issue: How can I love someone so deeply who does not care about how animals in factory farms are treated?

I’ve concluded that one of the reasons our marriage is so happy is that we keep this promise from our wedding vows: “I promise to let you be you.” Ian has certainly done that for me—supporting me 100% in my transition from vegetarian to vegan and being completely respectful of my animal rights views.

I believe I am the best advocate for animals when I simply follow my own path instead of insisting people change to be like me. So I give Ian the respect of letting him be who he is, too. As a matter of course, he has cut down greatly on his meat consumption, he cheerfully eats out at vegan restaurants, and he always listens intently when I discuss my animal projects.

I admit to holding out hope that one day Ian will become vegan, but I want him to be excited about that new lifestyle for himself, not because he feels pressured to change. The most inspiring thing I can do for him is to be the happiest, healthiest vegan possible. The rest is out of my hands.

Alexandra Paul is an actress who has starred in over 75 movies and television shows. She is also an Ironman athlete and a long-distance swimmer.  This post originally appeared here.