How Being Vegan Saved Me

For years, I didn’t think I could become a vegan. In my youth I had a 12-year struggle with bulimia. Fortunately, therapy and a 12-step program helped me overcome it (22 years of success and counting—hallelujah!), but the experience left me with an ambivalent relationship with food.

In my heart, I knew I sometimes ate to feed myself emotionally. It was also a challenge to eat healthy foods. So even though I’d been a vegetarian since 1977 and hadn’t worn leather, wool, or silk or used animal tested products since 1989 (boy, am I dating myself!), I worried about the effects of making that last leap to a full vegan diet. Would denying myself the dairy treats I loved trigger my bingeing again? I was scared to find out.

Then, three years ago, I took the dare. I prepared myself: my kitchen was stocked with satisfyingalternatives (poppyseed dressing instead of Caesar, dark chocolate instead of milk) and I planned out snacks and meals for the first few days. I had one last frozen yogurt and vowed to go vegan the next morning.

It was surprisingly easy. As the weeks passed, I felt more and more repelled by animal products. I, who could never resist a sweet chocolatey dessert, found I had zero desire for it once I learned it containeddairy.

Today, I am balanced. My diet is aligned with my values. The compassion and awareness that I feel knowing I’m eating vegan feels spiritual to me. Rather than the restriction I feared, I feel more open—opened up to a whole new world of kindness. And that has given me peace—the kind of peace I did not have when I was bingeing and purging.

Ironic, isn’t it? I went vegan to save animals, but going vegan actually saved me.