Big Decisions

There are a few big decisions that have contributed greatly to the kind of life I lead. The first was to become a vegetarian at age 14, and then a vegan at age 47. I regret it took me so long to get rid of the last vestiges of dairy from my life, as I had stopped wearing leather, wool, silk or products tested on animals 20 years before, for which there were very few alternatives back then, but it was not difficult. Just like it wasn’t hard once I committed to not eating eggs or milk products anymore. I wavered because of my history of eating disorders, and my fear that being too restrictive would trigger something again. The truth is, now that my diet is fully aligned with my values, my eating hangups don’t even enter into the picture. I don’t feel deprived in the least.

Speaking of eating disorders, getting over my bulimia was another huge decision that has contributed to my quality of life. For 12 years I was caught in a web of bingeing and throwing up. Finally, thanks to my friend Jocelyn, when I was 28 years old I began attending Overeaters Anonymous meetings (the 12 step program for any eating disorder). It took me only one month to stop throwing up, and 10 years of calling my sponsor Jason daily to ensure I didn’t fall backwards. I also went through the 12 steps with my step sponsor Andrea, a healing and growing experience I recommend for anyone, addict or not. I am so grateful that I am no longer bulimic that even 20 years later I still am in awe of myself. In the thick of it, I couldn’t imagine ever not wanting to binge and purge – I was amazed that anyone could eat normally. Now, I am pretty normal.

The final decision that has made my life so beautiful is marrying Ian. Before I met him, I had been in love but never believed in Forever. With Ian, I believe. All my boyfriends have been awesome, what made him different? The realization that my life could continue to get bigger even partnered with just one person; Ian’s positive, supportive disposition; his endless passion and affection. If there is one decision I have never doubted, it is to marry Ian Murray. He is without a doubt the most amazing man I have known.